Letters by Adrian Mole

Adrian Mole likes writing letters – not only to friends and family, but also the rich, famous, powerful, as well as commissioning and literary editors and here are some of those.

Dear Boston

First may I say how much I admire your decision to change your surname from Goldman to Goldperson… cont

Dear Ms Smith

Forgive me for addressing you as ‘Ms’ if you are in fact a married woman. I am writing to you in the strictest confidence… cont

Dear Baz

It’s some months since I wrote to you I know but I’ve been very busy with my opus, ‘Tadpole’… cont

Dear Sir

I wish to convey to you my congratulations on your new programme Breakfast Time… cont

Dear Bert

I’ve taken your advice and gone off to see the world… cont

Baz



I’ve blown town. The pigs will be looking for me… cont

Nigel

Good luck with being gay. I, too, am different from the herd… cont

Dear Mum

Is it really three weeks? It has gone by in a flash.  I’m pleased to hear that you have stopped smoking… cont

Dear Jo-Jo

I will cut immediately to the chase.  No, you cannot take William back to Nigeria with you… cont

Dear David

Please take a few moments to read this letter.  I am not an inane football fan requesting a signed photo… cont

Dear Sir Trevor Nunn

Your name has been passed to me by Angela Hacker, the author and playwright, who is a neighbour of mine… cont

Dear Mr Brown

I wonder if you’ve had time to glance at my letter of 3rd June 2007… cont

Dear Aunt Clara

I am a fifteen year old schoolboy. My grandma tells me that I am attractive and many people have commented on how mature I am for my years. cont

Dear Stephan Fry

My name is Adrian Mole. I once had the honour of cooking you a dish of tripe, which you pronounced ‘unforgettable’ (Hoi Polloi, September 15th, 1996). cont

Dear Prime Minister

I have watched your foreign secretary, Robin Cook, on the TV news. However I have no idea what he is talking about, since I could not understand a word he said. cont

Dear Jordan

I am writing a book about celebrity and how it ruins people’s lives. I know what I am talking about. cont

Dear Clare

Forgive me for addressing you by your Christian name, but you are so friendly and approachable I was sure you wouldn’t mind. cont

Dear Mr Plant

Congratulations on reaching the grand age of 109. I wonder if you would mind letting me in on the secret of your longevity. cont

Dear Hamish

Thanks for your long letter but please try to put postage stamps on the envelope next time you write. cont